Dec 052012
 

If so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus: That ye put off concerning the former converstaion the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; and be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another. Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. Ephesians 4:21-32

Feb 142009
 

Ever have one of those times when you see yourself in a way that’s not quite you?  Do you really know who you are how good how bad how real…..I looked back on my life again this morning and saw a stupid girl playing the actress she wanted to be when she grew up….not realizing her whole life has been center stage always to the left…..and suddenly nothing was make believe anymore, and my feet felt like a strangers and I prayed for the curtain to fall……………

You know how  you  get to the other side of something and say “wow I  did it!  I made it thru the battle and all is well now.” Thank goodness for those times along the way….  Otherwise hope would be in a coma and nurses would be tripping over electrical cords from too many on life support….

But sometimes I’m just angry, and so disappointed in this world in this life in this girl….and tornadoes spin in my head as icy words cut thru well-preserved relics of younger days and easier ways and mercy how the battles rage.  I’m so tired.  All around me are little notes of little things to do to hold up the big things and boy I need more super glue…..cause things break and things fall down and I’m tripping over my dirty wedding gown.

Forgive ??  What ??  What is that, to live forgiven, to not be shackled by anger and bitterness and memories that twist your gut and fear that rips you in half as one half says go and the other can’t move.   And He said Grow up now, and live REAL and trust me to still be here.

It’s like arranging flowers in a certain way as you take each one and carefully place it in the vase….and then the next and so on and so forth….patiently at first with soft fluid motions and precision at your fingertips….and then a thought like an interuption flashes across the screen, and solving the issue becomes a barge on a tiny stream…..

then petals and leaves fly as your hands like little blenders dive into the creation, smashing glass and throwing stems in all direction……distraction reaction hit cruise and call in damage control…..mercy let it rain before the thunder starts to roll………………..~M

Dec 202008
 

Nothing blocks love -whether coming or going- like bitterness born of unforgiveness. Some of it so deep-seated we’ve forgotten where it came from. It’s inherent in being human, to ‘rise up in the flesh’ and ‘lash out with our tongue’ ….to feel so much forboding and fear and sadness and anger and the list could go on and on and on. The point is until we learn how to put this stuff down and set our minds on Christ we are bound to remain in those dark places where forgiveness stands ready to go…..